About yesterday afternoon

I was really proud of us (ALL of us, actors musicians lighting designers and you as our director as well) for pulling off a very worthwhile show today. The audience was having a blast watching us, but I believe we stayed true to our characters and ourselves and did not play to the audience for laughs. But rather that we allowed that beautiful positive energy to feed us and breathe into our bodies as performers and characters.

About my own personal performance: I found myself more nervous than I've ever been for a show, in my entire life. And it was what you had talked about before, in that this battle is a battle with our own fear. And for the better part of 2 acts I was allowing that fear to win the battle. THAT's why I think I went soft during part of the letter speech and during some other scenes. It wasn't until Act III scene iv did that I was really able to drop all that away and fully live in everything. I by no means closed myself off or gave up, I just mean to say that the fear was having a bigger effect on myself that I had anticipated, for far longer that I thought it would. It was definitly a learning experience for me, in that I noticed what worked and what didn't work for me. I expected that being on stage while the audience came in would help allay and assuage any fears I had. What I found interesting was that it actually made me MORE nervous, because I...well I don't know why yet. !
I guess I allowed myself to get rattled a little bit by it, and feeling SO naked for what felt like upwards of a half hour (though I know it was little more than 10 minutes, if that). I'm feeling confident for tomorrow, having lived and loved for those 2 hours today. I must say, however, that that feeling after we had finished and we were taking our bows and changing after the show was over was one of the most incredible, jubilant, experiences of my life. I mean, top 5 man. Seriously. I've never had such fun.

So, thank you once again. People keep talking to me about the beautiful direction that was employed, people who don't even know who you are Matt, so that was pretty fantastic to hear as well. Because you, as Don send and I reiterate, were a fabulous leader, and brought us the water, and we have decided to slurp it up like the camels we are. Okay, that's enough with the ridiculous metaphors.

See You Tomorrow Mateys (Matties? Mates?) Whatever.

Ahoy, Let's hoist sail tomorrow into the bliss of beauty and story telling.

Bon Voyage,

The Madly Blessed Nicolas Ducassi