So I've had a couple of days to mull over what Saturday Night's performance was to me, and have let the jarring nature of it being our last performance of Twelfth Night settle in my body. These are my thoughts:
What a blast. We went up there, and we had ourselves a great time.
In Friday afternoon's performance I was more nervous than I've ever been, and it took a toll on my breathing/voice as well as my connection to the text/other actors on stage. Saturday Night's performance, however, I was relaxed, not really that nervous, but kind of riding a sort of calm wave. It struck me as odd that I wasn't nervous, and I started to get nervous about why I wasn't nervous, if you can believe that. When the audience started in, I told myself "these people love me, and I love them. I'm going to relish and endulge in that positive energy" and I think that made all the difference. Somehow telling myself that it was gonna go really well made it go really well. I think. Either way, my body and mind seemed to be on some sort of auto-pilot, in that I wasn't thinking about what I was doing, I was just doing it. My spirit, I suppose, knew what was going to happen, and how to make it work. It was a frightening and incredible experience at the same time, because I wasn!
't thinking to control what was going on, I was just, well, living. That is a very scary place for me to be because I have struggled with turning my brain off and just letting my instincts and work that I've done take me wherever they are going to take me. But it was in that span of "brain-dead" time that I was freed up to live, because I wasn't second guessing. The few times I was aware of what was going on, I fell out of it, and forgot my lines, or reverted back to old techniques. But it was by far the most comfortable and at ease I've ever felt on stage.
In short, it felt wonderful. I'm sad that I've had to let the play go, but the memories of the process of assembling Twelfth Night and working with you guys will stay with me forever. I learned more about myself and how I work in the last 6 weeks than most of the first 2 years of my training at CMU. I'm ever-grateful that I was privileged to enjoy such a rewarding, though at times challenging, experience.
What also felt really good was feeling like WE were doing something. WE were TELLING THE STORY. It wasn't about individual performances, it was about how WE could best come together to tell the best, most vivid, and most exciting story we could. And we succeeded. In a HUMONGOUS way.
I have tried, but still cannot drill the hole into my heart where the words live to express how I feel about these last few weeks so that I may share them with you.
All I can say is that we are all blessed.
Thanks, Thanks...and ever oft good terms.
-Nicolas Ducassi
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
Viola's last blog
I can't believe it's over!!! I feel like after working so hard we should get at least a couple more shows! Saturday was definitely a different show than Friday for me. I felt more in control on Saturday, but I felt I was acting more on my impulse on Friday. I thought it was so interesting how much the audience's reactions and laughs differed from one night to the other. How much fun to have a completely different dynamic to work off of! Well, if I were a poet (or even a little bit articulate) I would write something gushy and beautiful right now to thank you all for the unmatchable experience we have had. However, I can't think of anything clever or extraordinarily pretty, so
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!
-Katie, the man version
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!
-Katie, the man version
Final Blog entry (single tear)
So there it is... we did it. its over... but im still quoting it. I had a blast in thie rehearsal process its great to be around such driven and professional people. this summer was challenging because some of the people i worked with were so unprofessional and its nice to come back and work with people who put in the work and mean it. The final show was very interesting. it went faster but felt slower on the whole for me. maybe thats ecause i was really trying to stay in it in my breaks so they felt longer but it was recieved differently the second time around. not worse by any means but different. I felt much better about the second show and i think that i summited Twelfth Night/ Sebastian on Saturday evening.
There is no way to explain what i felt without telling this story. In the middle of my first scene i only had one moment when i was really aware that the audience was there and that was right before i say "se is drowned allready sir with salt water though i seem to drown her eremembrance again with more" and i took a pause right before. and i distinctly remember COMPLETE silence and thinking... oh my god i have them. It was the most amazing feeling knowing that i was just a step ahead of the audience and they were really listening. That was a really nice moment and i was able to sink right back into the scene, because i knew what i was able to give that particular audience.
I'd like to talk a little bit about the fickle nature of an audience. Something i really learned about in this show is how quickly an audience can all of a sudden change how they feel about a character. In the "ayre" monologue the second day i fell off the bench because i went to quickly onto it. that little change, of me being on the bench to off the bench made them lose their concentration entirely because some of the people knew that i was supposed to be on the bench and from thaat point o i could tell they weren't listening as intently as they had been. They were wondering what i was going to do what Ross was going to do and whether Ross would be castrated by Matt Gray later. I just think its interesting that an audience can be so ready to join you in a monologue but if you miss your light or fall out of your light or screw up your blocking its over. They start to think about other things and you lose them.
I felt really good about all the other scenes in the show for me personally and i think that we set a bar for what the JPP's should be from now on. I think freshman and sophmores will hope to bring such a solid piece in front o fthe school next year and the year after. I loved working with this group and i'm glad i have a week to get ready for the next show. I hope that everyone continues to work hard and that we as a group continue to set a bar for what Carnegie Mellon School of Drama is and should continue to be.
All the Best,
Ross "Sebastian" Francis
There is no way to explain what i felt without telling this story. In the middle of my first scene i only had one moment when i was really aware that the audience was there and that was right before i say "se is drowned allready sir with salt water though i seem to drown her eremembrance again with more" and i took a pause right before. and i distinctly remember COMPLETE silence and thinking... oh my god i have them. It was the most amazing feeling knowing that i was just a step ahead of the audience and they were really listening. That was a really nice moment and i was able to sink right back into the scene, because i knew what i was able to give that particular audience.
I'd like to talk a little bit about the fickle nature of an audience. Something i really learned about in this show is how quickly an audience can all of a sudden change how they feel about a character. In the "ayre" monologue the second day i fell off the bench because i went to quickly onto it. that little change, of me being on the bench to off the bench made them lose their concentration entirely because some of the people knew that i was supposed to be on the bench and from thaat point o i could tell they weren't listening as intently as they had been. They were wondering what i was going to do what Ross was going to do and whether Ross would be castrated by Matt Gray later. I just think its interesting that an audience can be so ready to join you in a monologue but if you miss your light or fall out of your light or screw up your blocking its over. They start to think about other things and you lose them.
I felt really good about all the other scenes in the show for me personally and i think that we set a bar for what the JPP's should be from now on. I think freshman and sophmores will hope to bring such a solid piece in front o fthe school next year and the year after. I loved working with this group and i'm glad i have a week to get ready for the next show. I hope that everyone continues to work hard and that we as a group continue to set a bar for what Carnegie Mellon School of Drama is and should continue to be.
All the Best,
Ross "Sebastian" Francis
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Closing Nights thoughts from Feste
Congratulations one and all!
I thought that Saturday’s performance definitely buzzed of a different energy than on Friday. On opening night I think we were all really jazzed with nerves, and the audience (lots of actors and theatre people) knew it was our opening and were really empathetic and encouraging. On our closing night I think our nerves had settled a bit and the audience was not quite as vocal as they were on the first evening. I thought that we needed to pick up the pace of the show. Our start was slow but by the end of the second act I think we had established a comfortable pace. I had a few prop malfunctions (rope with Antonio) and missed words (Sir Topas scene). I definitely learned something from the interaction I was supposed to have with the rope and Antonio. I ended up placing the rope next to Jon-Michael as I exited but I SHOULD have stopped and tied his hands in it. Ah. I was so mad at myself after I left the stage, but I can say that I learned from it. I felt a little better vocally,!
but I was noticing that because I was focusing on filling the space I sometimes lost my thoughts, which weakened the text.
But I think the closing run was one of the best!
I so enjoyed working with every single one of you. This experience has been amazing…thank you for sharing your creative energies and talent! Congratulations!
-Amanda
I thought that Saturday’s performance definitely buzzed of a different energy than on Friday. On opening night I think we were all really jazzed with nerves, and the audience (lots of actors and theatre people) knew it was our opening and were really empathetic and encouraging. On our closing night I think our nerves had settled a bit and the audience was not quite as vocal as they were on the first evening. I thought that we needed to pick up the pace of the show. Our start was slow but by the end of the second act I think we had established a comfortable pace. I had a few prop malfunctions (rope with Antonio) and missed words (Sir Topas scene). I definitely learned something from the interaction I was supposed to have with the rope and Antonio. I ended up placing the rope next to Jon-Michael as I exited but I SHOULD have stopped and tied his hands in it. Ah. I was so mad at myself after I left the stage, but I can say that I learned from it. I felt a little better vocally,!
but I was noticing that because I was focusing on filling the space I sometimes lost my thoughts, which weakened the text.
But I think the closing run was one of the best!
I so enjoyed working with every single one of you. This experience has been amazing…thank you for sharing your creative energies and talent! Congratulations!
-Amanda
Let's make them cry...
We did.
Holy shit. We made them cry.
Our second performance of the show was one of the most illuminating and rewarding theatrical experiences I've had to date. I say this because, it was the first time I've ever performed for a group of people, where I didn't have the supercharge from having them there. As the show began I was really quite alarmed at how low my energy was, and got really scared that something was wrong, and I was going to forget something, or fall victim to some other horrifying turn of events.
When I got off stage after my first scene, John and I looked at each other very quizzically. We didn't say anything. I don't think we wanted to jinx it. I knew something was different but I didn't think it was bad. Just different. I knew I was going to have to redouble my efforts in specificity and listening to compensate for the absence of the manic audience buzz.
It never came. What did come to me however, was a complete reliance on the people I was on stage with. Without the buzz, all we had was our technique, and all the tools we'd learned over the past two years. We had to pick up our cues, stay in front of the audience, and keep playing actively. It seemed like I wasn't the only one thinking it either, because, whereas the first night, I thought it seemed like we kind of were getting tired towards the end, last night, it seemed like we were gaining momentum the more the show went on.
Another really interesting thing about last night, was I noticed, in an attempt to connect to the audience and "let them in" I was actually disconnecting from the people I was acting with. Thankfully I caught myself and redoubled my efforts to stay in the moment, but that was a very curious inclination I had. I wonder if I felt compelled to reach out extra hard because my internal energy was down. I tried to tell myself though, it really doesn't matter what we feel as actors. All that matters is what we make the audience feel. That's where I think a lot of our focus went as a company last night, and I think we had another really successful run because of it.
So, on the final night of JPP's, I was reminded how valuable and essentially applicable our training is, and I feel reassured that it will always be there to help me as I continue to learn and work as an actor. I was also reminded how crucial it is to remain with your scene partners at all times, and how heavily we have to rely on each other as a company. Because, like I said before, no matter how the show's going, it's not going to stop for any of us. So we have to really trust the text, our training, each other, and ourselves, and know that everything will work out.
It's kind of a lesson in neutrality. Kind of surrendering to the work that's been done and to the text that now lives in you and letting the moments create themselves rathering than us hammering them into shape. We don't know how the show is going to go from moment to moment, but if we trust ourselves and stay easy, the audience can trust us, too, and then the piece is allowed to affect them. All great art is truely rooted in ease.
So many lessons. So much medicine. So. So. Grateful.
Holy shit. We made them cry.
Our second performance of the show was one of the most illuminating and rewarding theatrical experiences I've had to date. I say this because, it was the first time I've ever performed for a group of people, where I didn't have the supercharge from having them there. As the show began I was really quite alarmed at how low my energy was, and got really scared that something was wrong, and I was going to forget something, or fall victim to some other horrifying turn of events.
When I got off stage after my first scene, John and I looked at each other very quizzically. We didn't say anything. I don't think we wanted to jinx it. I knew something was different but I didn't think it was bad. Just different. I knew I was going to have to redouble my efforts in specificity and listening to compensate for the absence of the manic audience buzz.
It never came. What did come to me however, was a complete reliance on the people I was on stage with. Without the buzz, all we had was our technique, and all the tools we'd learned over the past two years. We had to pick up our cues, stay in front of the audience, and keep playing actively. It seemed like I wasn't the only one thinking it either, because, whereas the first night, I thought it seemed like we kind of were getting tired towards the end, last night, it seemed like we were gaining momentum the more the show went on.
Another really interesting thing about last night, was I noticed, in an attempt to connect to the audience and "let them in" I was actually disconnecting from the people I was acting with. Thankfully I caught myself and redoubled my efforts to stay in the moment, but that was a very curious inclination I had. I wonder if I felt compelled to reach out extra hard because my internal energy was down. I tried to tell myself though, it really doesn't matter what we feel as actors. All that matters is what we make the audience feel. That's where I think a lot of our focus went as a company last night, and I think we had another really successful run because of it.
So, on the final night of JPP's, I was reminded how valuable and essentially applicable our training is, and I feel reassured that it will always be there to help me as I continue to learn and work as an actor. I was also reminded how crucial it is to remain with your scene partners at all times, and how heavily we have to rely on each other as a company. Because, like I said before, no matter how the show's going, it's not going to stop for any of us. So we have to really trust the text, our training, each other, and ourselves, and know that everything will work out.
It's kind of a lesson in neutrality. Kind of surrendering to the work that's been done and to the text that now lives in you and letting the moments create themselves rathering than us hammering them into shape. We don't know how the show is going to go from moment to moment, but if we trust ourselves and stay easy, the audience can trust us, too, and then the piece is allowed to affect them. All great art is truely rooted in ease.
So many lessons. So much medicine. So. So. Grateful.
When the image of it leaves me, I must run mad!
Friday night I did Shakespeare for almost a hundred people at one of the best drama schools in the nation. I must begin with a feeble attempt at articulating how unintelligibly thankful I am for that, and to have worked with such an incredible team of artists.
Although, we have yet to have an official acting class this year, I feel like I have a semester's worth of knowledge under my belt, just from the past four weeks. I have been acquainted with the turbid ebb and flow of misery in the rehearsal process, seen the amount of effort and dexterity required to adequately research a play, and STARTED to understand what it means to work specifically, and how essential it is when communicating to an audience.
I could practically write a novella from all the lessons I've learned throughout the process, but for the sake of brevity, I'll confine them to what I learned during the actual runs.
First Night:
The first performance was such a wild ride. From the time the house opened I was grappling with all the manic energy coursing through my body and knew that it would be something I would have to fight and harness in order to maintain my technical proficiency. I tried to put my energy into the text and into listening to what my castmates were saying rather than becoming wildly gesticulative and floppy.
The most interesting thing about the first run,though, to me, was how we all reacted when things went wrong. There were jokes that didn't always land, all kinds of prop and wardrobe malfunctions, and I knew it was because we were all teeming with that wild energy. There were also times though, when the audience laughed uproariously when we would never have expected them to, and learning the pace at which you have to move in order to allow the audience to laugh and enjoy themselves but not lose the momentum of the show was very valuable.
I also learned quite a bit about your duty as a cast member when you're not on stage. Rather than disappearing into the crossover or sittin down and checking out, I saw all my castmates waiting hungrily offstage for their next entrance, listening diligently, and sending out the most supportive energy we could muster. I remember Ross had an exit at one point after he'd had some trouble with an umbrella, and you could tell he was frustrated. He passed John and me, and we knew in our next scene we had to crank up the tempo and sharpness and pick our brother up. And when I had my drunk scene, I walked off feeling a bit frustrated because I felt like I had made a choice that was a bit gratuitous and not completely honest, but as I passed, I think it was Chelsea, I knew she was going to have me in our next scene. There was a great sense of ensemble backstage, and we would all celebrate each others' wins and offer support when things didn't go ideally. This was one of the things I !
am most proud of.
I also finally understood what it's like to perform an entire play and the STAMINA it requires to do it. I literally felt myself running out of gas towards the end of the play, but finding how you have to dig deep and keep giving the audience and your castmates what they deserve was a very enlightening lesson.
At the end of the first show, I realized, as many times as I'd heard it, THE SHOW MUST GO ON. Regardless of how I was feeling about my performance at a given moment or any extraneous circumstances, the story keeps going, and you can't stop telling it. You have to make sure the audience is getting the information they need at all times. Overall, the first show was a lesson in discipline, focus, tenacity, and selflessness; and one that I'll not soon forget.
Toby
Although, we have yet to have an official acting class this year, I feel like I have a semester's worth of knowledge under my belt, just from the past four weeks. I have been acquainted with the turbid ebb and flow of misery in the rehearsal process, seen the amount of effort and dexterity required to adequately research a play, and STARTED to understand what it means to work specifically, and how essential it is when communicating to an audience.
I could practically write a novella from all the lessons I've learned throughout the process, but for the sake of brevity, I'll confine them to what I learned during the actual runs.
First Night:
The first performance was such a wild ride. From the time the house opened I was grappling with all the manic energy coursing through my body and knew that it would be something I would have to fight and harness in order to maintain my technical proficiency. I tried to put my energy into the text and into listening to what my castmates were saying rather than becoming wildly gesticulative and floppy.
The most interesting thing about the first run,though, to me, was how we all reacted when things went wrong. There were jokes that didn't always land, all kinds of prop and wardrobe malfunctions, and I knew it was because we were all teeming with that wild energy. There were also times though, when the audience laughed uproariously when we would never have expected them to, and learning the pace at which you have to move in order to allow the audience to laugh and enjoy themselves but not lose the momentum of the show was very valuable.
I also learned quite a bit about your duty as a cast member when you're not on stage. Rather than disappearing into the crossover or sittin down and checking out, I saw all my castmates waiting hungrily offstage for their next entrance, listening diligently, and sending out the most supportive energy we could muster. I remember Ross had an exit at one point after he'd had some trouble with an umbrella, and you could tell he was frustrated. He passed John and me, and we knew in our next scene we had to crank up the tempo and sharpness and pick our brother up. And when I had my drunk scene, I walked off feeling a bit frustrated because I felt like I had made a choice that was a bit gratuitous and not completely honest, but as I passed, I think it was Chelsea, I knew she was going to have me in our next scene. There was a great sense of ensemble backstage, and we would all celebrate each others' wins and offer support when things didn't go ideally. This was one of the things I !
am most proud of.
I also finally understood what it's like to perform an entire play and the STAMINA it requires to do it. I literally felt myself running out of gas towards the end of the play, but finding how you have to dig deep and keep giving the audience and your castmates what they deserve was a very enlightening lesson.
At the end of the first show, I realized, as many times as I'd heard it, THE SHOW MUST GO ON. Regardless of how I was feeling about my performance at a given moment or any extraneous circumstances, the story keeps going, and you can't stop telling it. You have to make sure the audience is getting the information they need at all times. Overall, the first show was a lesson in discipline, focus, tenacity, and selflessness; and one that I'll not soon forget.
Toby
Last Night...
Last night was incredible. Bitter sweet, but amazing. I learned so much, just from that one last show – mainly, the importance of control. Last night I felt much more in control of my performance, I didn’t feel less free (I actually felt freer) but by just making my focus last night be on hearing the text word by word and discovering it moment by moment, all I had to do was respond. I felt that my prep yesterday helped ground me much more as well, I did my make-up earlier and ran through my script recalling past notes and really tasting the words in my mouth. Thank you all for an amazing experience!
- Bekie
- Bekie
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